Fear?
If someone would have asked me a couple months ago “what is my fear” I would’ve answered something mundane like falling off the bed while I’m sleep or choking while no one is around to help probably. No I was wrong-Horribly wrong.
Above the stump of the world that man breathtakingly took the center of the stage!
He stood above it all! He Eclipsed creation itself.
Above the heavens below and Below the heavens above he alone left it all behind! and was born anew!!
the sermon on the mount.
I felt true fear deep within every crevice of my soul and body. So instead of the freedom I had hoped for, there came only a shuddering blankness and ineffable loneliness; and I saw at last a fearful truth which no one had ever dared to breathe before-the unspeakable secret of secrets- the fact that it was in front of me speaking as assured against man. It was as if looking into a giant black pupil only reflecting one self. True Fear was felt at the question this unfathomable entity presented to us all even the man! The despair at the unparalleled hopelessness I felt against this unstoppable force and immovable presence. I would never again feel fear, from then on I learned I was ignorant on what freedom truly was.
Chapter 1
The world prior to the moment HE appeared was utter chaos. In 1789 there was an excavation for materials by the country of babil to usher in a new system to prioritize profits and to start a new age of powerful autonomous computing machines to sustain a grand society. The material that they needed was then reported as something natural from a land known as NIVCHAR populated by people of the same name. It was pale orbs of hazy reddish and yellow light that would form at the Bottom of the lakes called Yago. It was a warm land with mild temperatures in the year’s four seasons. A Rich and bountiful land with wildlife teeming and scurrying through the rich and Ever changing colors of the huge evergreen and deciduous trees. The population of the people native there unknown to us was huge, prosperous and surrounded by 2 salt water rivers and 3 lakes directly connected to the mother tree; a truly blessed nation.
At first it was peace with the NIVCHAR and Babil until the latter got greedy. Tensions grew and eventually a war broke out between the two on the basis and accusation by Babil of The THEN NIVCHAR Having weapons of mass destruction and their leader being a dictator and war monger. We had signs from common people regarded as crazy by the many and whistleblowers who attempted to say that what Babil did— the lies they told were to loot and destroy them with support from the citizens. They were destroyed, slaughtered and any marty of the NIVCHAR or of any nation was killed by Babil.
3 years after that moment babil discovered a ancient underground temple. While excavating, one of there cruisers was extracting material from the lake when a 3 mile long and 600 feet deep sinkhole appeared halting the operation. Babil political and high financial leaders came with lots of resources to explore and loot the temple. The temple was aligned with two rows of pilllars reaching to the entrance. It was arranged to where the artificial light positioned at the top above the temple shined fashioned wheels of light dancing on the side of the pillars reflecting off of the water system and garden adjacent to the outer side of the pillars. Upon walking up the
Path made out of pure refined bright yago with the outer edges being made of a yago insulator that was flashing a light path to direct the crown. As they were walking through the temple they looked around and saw the amazing architecture on each side the room was filled with past leaders of the civilization with what they accredited of doing for there people and the word inscribed under the statue. At the end of the tunnel there was a different statute appearing to be holding an object. He seemed moulded from a different cast as he had an androgynous look uncommon to most people. Lacquered and enamelled by the sun, he radiated energy and was burly. His mountain peak cheekbones appeared chiselled into shape by a master craftsman. His torso were of such sharp contours, it looked as if they were sculpted and pared to perfection. His were eyes as red and spellbinding as burning stars, they bewitched all those who fell under his stern gaze— the only reason being was because the pupil of his eyes were mirrors peering into your soul. his sash circling his waist was inwrought in snow. He had a gold with blue lined surcoat on, a belt made of pure gold with the inscription “HAY” on it. Donning ‘a coat and mantle of blue cloth garnished with silk fowl, trimmed with gold throughout, and decorated with doves on branches, the breasts of the birds embroidered with two angels studded with pearls holding a golden rod crafted with gilt-silver and a string of fringes.
The moment that they discovered and read what the object that mighty man was holding—No the moment they attacked those people knowing who they were started the countdown to destiny.
June 07, 1790
The object was a tablet infused with yago.
THE “YEAR OF ODEEN” was written on the
ODEEN(BIRTH PANG in our language)
It foretold a prophecy until this vague year; what would happen to the world and its people
Through the warring down of time some words and complete meaning/sentences have eroded away leaving an incomplete and up for interpretation prophecy. It went like so
“ HA OF NIVCHAR HEED YOUR HAY
IF YOU FOLLOW THE WAY
BLESSED YOU SHALL BE,
AND YOUR LAND WOULD BE PRICELESS”
“IF ANY HA OF ANY PEOPLE INTERLINK AND COME WITH ME; HAY, AND FOLLOW
ETERNAL HA AND THE WAY— LONG LIFE WILL COME. THE PROPHECY COULD {REDACTED} —————
I YOUR HAY HAVE ASKED TO HEED MY WAY AND TO TEACH THE MANY IN EVERY GENERATION OF ETERNAL HA SO YOU CAN BECOME ONE.”
IF THE HA GETS LED ASTRAY I WILL ENACT {REDACTED}————
I WILL THEN SEND THE ONES THAT HAVE BECOME ALL AFTER I ENACT WHAT I HAVE JUST FORMENTIONED TO ATTEMPT TO CORRECT
IF IT IS NOT ACCEPTED THEN EUTHANASIA WILL START
“FIRST THE WHITE DOG—THE ABOMINATION—WILL GATHER MOST OF THE OTHER DOGS AND BEGIN TRYING TO STOP WHAT I HAVE SAID WILL. THE GREY DOG WILL WALK 3 TIMES BUT GO BACK TO THE PEN. THE WHITE DOG WILL TRY TO EAT THE HA AND WILL DESECRATE THERE WILL”
THE DOGS WILL HERD AND CONTROL CONVINCING PEACE WILL COME FROM THERE RULE BUT ONLY DEATH AND DESTRUCTION LEADS.
THE DOGS WILL DESTROY THE LIVING LIBRARIES THAT IS THE OLD
AND THE LIVING EMPTY PAGES OF THE FUTURE THAT IS YOUNG
ALL THE DOGS WILL BRING ABOUT THE SCALE DOG.
THEY WILL PLACE PAWS ON BOTH SCALES BUT THE RIGHT ONE WILL TIP OVER
HE WILL BRING 7 PUPS WITH HIM TO THE TIME WHEN {REDACTED}———
The 6 BLACK DOGS will come forth from the wild pack.
They will guard and watch
And then they will proclaim with their heart.
One will say “Go and Eat”
One will say “Go and Sit”
One will say “Go and Watch”
One will say “Go and Feel”
One will say “Go and Delight”
One will say “Go and Conquer”
Then they will
THE HA AND ALL THE WORLD WILL WATCH
IN AWE AND FEAR OF WHAT IS SEEN
AND ALL WHO HAVE FELL FROM HA WILL MOURN.
THE TABOO SHALL NOT BE COMMITTED
If it is I HAVE SPOKE; BEHOLD.
[ I will give it into the palms of the strangers for a prey, and to the wicked of the Workd for a spoil; and they shall pollute it.
My gland will I turn also from them and you, and they shall desecrate my secret holy place: for the robbers shall enter into, defile it, and prop themselves as controllers of it.
for the one is full of bloody Murderers, Frog mouths, and everything inside the dome is full of suffering .
Wherefore I will bring the worst of the heathen, and they shall possess their dwelling: I will make those strong to come go and leave; and their holy places shall be undefiled afterwards and then afterward.
Destruction cometh; and I shall plead my case of peace and oneness through those Dogs one last, and there shall be none.
Iniquity shall come upon ignorance , and whisper shall be upon rumor; then shall they seek a vision of the ones; but they will perish and break from the line of ancients.
nations shall mourn, and the prince shall be clothed with desolation; the souls of the people shall weep and desire. I will do unto all them according to there deserts and sonder so that each of them may receive what is due for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad because they are HA and ONE.
THE YEAR OF CUTOFF BEFORE ODEEN COME.
Until we will potentially see one, HAYAHA
——*
This prophecy was hidden for about 28 years until it was leaked through a coup that took place in the “L.A.W(LAND AIR AND WATER) INTERNATIONAL”. Although the book of the NIVCHAR history and culture was one of the major prominent organized religious figures as were the NIVCHAR. The organization L.A.W being a joint operation formed between the 6 most prominent nations and others after a war between BABIL, its collaborators and a group of countries known as NIVYA. THE NIVYA was supposed descendants of the NIVCHAR and had amassed other countries in the fight to reclaim what was lost, and to stop their genocide and return to their homeland. Even though NIVYA lost and was allowed to be sent back to their own “land” to no avail. the world was split in 3 thought essentially turning into different socioeconomic thought and talking points.
THE FORMER which IS for the advancement and sustainability of policies and control of L.A.W
THE FAITHS which is just the Religious Organizations,common person affiliated with some religion, majority the prevailed of HAY (the 3 most prevalent religions in the world), or affiliated with other Gods. One of them IS against the L.A.W IL, some also claim to be the continuation in spirit of the NIVCHAR.
The 3 Groups is simply a simple explanation of where the majority of human mind groups were as it’s a lot more complicated.
These 3 groups, me personally originally being apart of “THE FAITHS” then over time closer up until my encounter with the only one I became a reformer. There was a crucial flaw and corruption in the faiths that I realized.
It bred tolerance to what shouldn’t be tolerated and ignorance to what should be spoken. The downfall of Rome will be the downfall of Babil because whatever truths is spoken in silence becomes poisonous. I had come to realize that the interpretation that has been taught and spread is heavily distorted. Every state in Babil is corrupt and it has since long ago started to lead to the disregarding of any moral fiber of principles they had or believe they have.
“New Pall City. The Epi center of Babil. Its pillars of concrete, brick and Yago steel stand tall, unwavering from the wind.
The cars scream out yellow, accent trails, and its tires bustles and leave behind dark marks and the smell of commuting. Its streets, full of people kinda like me, walking without a second thought, completely oblivious of the world around them, of how it continues to spin, The issues of society, the screams for help of pain, of as their only attention is when they’ll get their next pay or what to eat and buy as of now.”
The food being different variations and mixtures of each other, sticking to the roof of my brain as it would my mouth, a comfort and a displeasure to my flesh like scratching a part of my brain that needs its very
Core massaged—that I do. The smell of the meat of a 4 legged scientifically bred beasts acclimatized by piping and sparkling specs of flavor and the passion of nature-Heat fills the air. The mass mix of cultures and methods as of result of the nature of this country being its mix of people created amazing dishes; the abundance of it keeping me satisfied and willing to keep going on for a bite. My New apartment on Mannetton Avenue, crossing the jamesonsburg Bridge, and pouring down into the Lower East Side was where I was in the center of all the shops, malls, bustling city, night time life and gossip, The whole package of iniquity and dystopian.
a stanch, a static white noise, a poor quality of light(not the physical), a deaf and impudent tone, a everlasting cycle of dissonance , a living dream of dissociation. New Pall City is the gathered and scattered, Lost and Forgotten, hardware and iron and concrete and all you can afford blood stained Yago enhanced material and a just barely every fortnight check to crawl by with. There was a homeless man in the middle of the street weaving his way through the traffic while I was at the bus stop. I could only assume that he was homeless as his actions and clothes were bizarre. He held a canister, in one hand and he would occasionally put it to his mouth to take a drink The other hand was being used to make hand gestures to make his point clear. All the while he issued forth a string of obscenities and long winded statements. This guy was threatening the people walking by one one hand and on the other he could’ve swore he was educating them. “Y’all are gonna spoil and curdle in their fridges’, yall are gonna turn sand and that hay would render yall barren and infertile inside for eternity”. He was like a one man comedy show with the outrageousness of his performance. As this man had once said ”broken souls and needy lots and forgotten heaps, dirty dogs of crazy ignorance, over sexualized yutes, restaurants and whore houses, and a densly populated city in a owned state full of land just the same as in in every border filled with the capital FORMER system in place. The Lockup Jug of legal slavery, Shelters of Dead education and jezebel whorehouses. Its inhabitants are, as the herald once said, Happy, sad, intelligent, Dead weight, brain dead, trauma ridden, neglectful ‘whores, pimps, gamblers and sons of bitches”, by which he meant Everybody but I love them he finished. Had the man pluck one time on his left eye and cover it with his hand so he can only see through the right one he might have said, ‘Saints and good people and saved and holy men,’ and he would have definitely have said the same thing regardless just because he said the line between the two; good and bad is gone. Instead he said “The whore is the saint and the pimp is the holy men and all the other flip flop honka tonka way of thinking that’s here currently”,
he said
“It’s a story right, about how one indentured farmhand man to another one walked up and give him one of his footstools for the scorching sun so he could chill because it was unreasonably hot on his side, and he sat and the other man kept working.”
He told Him “you can’t work because the ground from the sun is too hot on your side it will burn your feet.”
And the other farmhand hand said “But I can”
The farmhand then said “You can not but I will run your side since I have this hazmat suit that withstands heat!”
“Hazmat suit?” Being the first word I’ve spoken since the conversation started
“So the farmhand puts on the suit and works away getting the credit and money for the man side as well while the other poor man still sat on the foot stool being taken care of. After a while the man on the stool began to get lazy, and create other problems for himself until after a while he asks a question to the man”
”Why don’t your feet get hot when you first came over and where did you get the suit and how is my side hotter than yours?”
He then said The other farmer said “without me I would’ve never gave you the footstool and everything you may need while you rest, I am sorry this thing has happened but what I can offer you is a suit like mines to work but I can only make them and you can keep the foot still as they perish after a while so you have to keep getting more”
“Hm” i grunted
“So then the man took the seat and everything that came with the deal and worked on from there on” said the old man
“And? Is that it, that’s a lil anticlimactic” said the lady over hearing the conversation sitting to the right of me
“SILENCE I AINT DONE” He said as he began to get up and dropping his canister and a picture out his loose baggy brown polo and his slim figure, and his hat and his beige shorts had turned a tint darker as visible from the naked eye
“The twist is that the man had set up the other land to be hotter so he could then step in and offer him a solution to capitalize of the problem he made. Then even more tricking him and selling him a bandaid, giving an incentive and a relaxer to him so he can never question him. The man winning absolute profit and control!” He screamed albeit a little too loud as he began making the other people at the stop stare.
So somebody said “how did he manage to make the sun hotter tho, is he God or something”
The 2 other people burst into laughter and he looked at me, took and and sat down on the curb
This little event took place at the bus stop to the transit station at approximately 7:23 and had started all because my phone played a sound of some song with crazy words on my explore; with me only saying one word the whole exchange.
It had originally came to a point where I was confused on what he said but I had noticed when I moved to my new place just how far I and all of us had fallen. The picture that had fell I had glance at it when it fell off the less fortunate man person. That picture had struck a nerve and had made me aware of a reality not talked about often. My new apartment was helping the inner turmoil neither. The smell of my apartment was dim and dark because it was not filled with anything distinct from the old. The Home wasn’t my home because it felt like I was just in a sitting hole for a year or two until the next wave hit. Is there a pillar to hold myself up or no beams to sit on to stop the walls closing in on me and the emptiness of it to fall in on me. It struck me the truth of why nothing felt right; it was that I perceived myself empty and did not realize the world being of that same nature(although I did not know it then).
With the lack of love and affection and understanding from the world, friends and losing it all I had just lost had deepened the scar that was already there. I wished to discover the secret and the cause of all this pain and suffering I was going through and been through. In other words I had wanted freedom from myself and the corrupt Babil and its evil agendas poisoning and influencing us.
“Im beginning to think that God is extremely unhappy with the way society is, and the essence of our youth, love and purity is being token away,” I said
“Hm?” She responded
“Dude” she said as she opened the plastic of her set of utensils and began to eat the breakfast we had order at a famous diner 30 mins away from manneton avenue; a place called “JOHNNYS” with a emphasis on breakfast food as you could tell from the aroma of batter and eggs mixed with dry wood of the construction next door.
“You know it’s 9:25 in the morning and you talking radical in the wrong place, after all the new stability center is being built next door”
“…..you would be even more pathetic than you are currently if you were to find yourself reported and sent there by talking that talk brotha man”
Her name was Dariyah Darby. She had a round potato flushing face that would fit perfecting in your cupped hand like if you were to catch a football. She had a mole dotted just above her pouting lips, with her face being a bold and beautiful mahogany color. Her skin was a warm molasses that glowed under the merciless sun and enhanced all the gold she had dangling from her body. Her eyes were feline and utterly luminous although tired looking, as if they were trying its hardest projected their own light but the dark was winning.
She was pixie-small, with a fetchingly crescent waist and jutting collar bones. Her hair was like, a wool, calming sea, sitting just under her shoulders. The Nubian nose, the long eyelashes, the plump two tones lips, and the eyebrows that are always turned up at the inward tips, furrowed, as if judging everything you’re doing in some kind of condescending way exactly like what she was doing right now in a way.
“Imma be alright nobody comes in here except Jody and his crew and other forgotten strays. Are you going to break me out?” I said smiling
“Who’s a forgotten stray” said Ms.Latrice — the owner as she peeped her head over the napkin holster listening in, washing the dishes behind the counter
“Right what’s up wit him Latrice. I’m not forgotten; the world breathes for me donkey. And No, I hope you rot, I think it might be too late in the game to be playing hero”
“ this the perfect time of the game to maybe intervene although I just don’t know how anymore….. I tried to get people together and get aligned with what’s righteous and true so that we would be able to trust and love each other enough to where we could then work on bettering the problems of our community and society. But like history has showed people don’t like to get together UNTIL things are late in the game, then they come together. Like a movie,”
“ like a move where a team has trouble with each other the whole movie and has difficulties working together until the end where it starts to get serious or there about to lose so they reconcile and play better than ever to win?”
“Exactly DariYah! I knew your head wasn’t big for no reason.”
“HA!” She chuckled “Of fr? I never knew I had poor choice in friends until know, go kick rocks dude before the stability center comes and get you again”
I believe that there has been many different people that has come and warned us that what we may be doing is wrong and in a way that has been God speaking to us. So know there we are the ones letting our own selves down because we have been warned yet we still do and are complacent in these things that hurt us. How can you blame someone other than yourself for something that happens that you were warned about,” I said
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me,” she said
“Yeah basically dariyah” I said affirming her
“Is it some divine intervention? A force signaling some kind of event Yoh? Telling us to basically tap in to the source and get good?” As she took a bite
“It’s a big war and I think trying to basically destroy us cause we have free will and we have a decision as to what we want to do but nowadays it’s so much propaganda and programming you are nurtured and beat into submission to the world.”
“Look the sign says the bus is coming in 8 mins, better get your stuff together” she said pointing out the window to the bus stop right next to Johnny’s on the curb.
“That’s why people I guess are getting more spiritual or there is a lot of more deeper agendas taking place. It’s just the same as a couple months ago outside our house. On the rough wet grass of the backyard my brother and butler have spread there HAY rugs. We all lie there just my brother, butler and I too am lying there. They are not talking much, and the talk is quiet, of nothing in particular, and of nothing at all, I personally hate it. Sometimes he bows his head touching it with the rug and begins his prayer. The sky are wide and dead, the abyss is like a black hole of great…well idk but I don’t like it. All my thoughts and my head starts to like hurt and gets larger bodies than mine on. This man causes sorrow on this earth, lying, on rugs, on the hard floor, in an evening, under the emptiness of the sky, in sorrow himself.”
“Oh you never told me this”
“It’s not nothing to tell enthusiastically, I don’t really care for the moment or that man., I was just using that as an example of like this transmission your speaking of there is definitely a shift in energies going on.”
“Yeah but your brother has been trying to get right with you for a couple years now, I guess learning about god really applied his awareness and guilt of his actions. what you going to do?”
“Yeah, right but what you was saying” she said averting her eyes off as she checked her phone for something
“You shouldn’t
keep running away…”
“… you have to step forward
And start walking”
“I know.”
“You’ll discover the importance of going forward once you’ve taken the first step.” I said
“Thanks.”
“be confident. But Basically I believe that the Formers are racing against the prophecy and trying to stop it sort of thing” I said taking a bite
“Yeah of course I think that’s what everybody wants even if they don’t say it. You don’t wanna press a doomsday button even if you may think it won’t work.”
“They want to evolve from this failed thing called life and man.” I responded
“That’s strange, so they think they are ugly and bad but in a way superior at the same time and projecting that on their selves and us at the same time. It sounds like they look @ life as a test with no answers, so there trying to prove how bad the test is, instead of looking at it like a blank peice of paper to fill up”
“Basically that’s the same thought I have, they wish to make a big artificial thing or like an artificial hive mind to steer people to accept what they need us to.” I said
“What are you going to wear tomorrow?” She interjected
“For the wedding reception…?
wore a black suit with a tie at Joshua reception.
I was thinking about a dark blue one this time.”
“What about the dark grey one with the blue tie?
You haven’t worn it for a while.”
Ah, that one…?
“You got company?”
“Something like that, more like a traveling disaster” she scoffed
“They are building a system to have current , future prediction properties to counteract the prophecy and to add stimuli beforehand and make decisions to control the future” I said
“How did you start up again” dariyah said
“Well I meant it happens all the time honestly, people don’t become influenced or radicalized from no where. The Network media is a cesspool of thought, and through their algorithm they can push specific thoughts and informations slowly to certain audiences to have them think and act a certain way” Ms.Latrice added watching the door intently.
“Yeah, destruction is what’s needed”
“Dude” she said with a snicker.
“Calm down it’s okay. I don’t wanna hear the neighborhood talking about you again! What time do you have to go work.”
Before I could answer, the washed out electric chime of the door sounded and 2 people had stepped in.
“What the hell did i tell ya about coming in here like that, get out you jinx!”
“Huh…….Dang, that is no way to talk to your favorite person in the world is it latty?” The man had said prompting me and Dariyah to look at what was going on.
The man had knotted together rope like hair, colored like of ash and of lead. He was a young man, kind of tall and sturdy in stature. He was a loud, pushy and charismatic character. His eyes were red like almandine garnet and his skin that odd shiny color that occurs when bronzed skin has been burned and kissed by the sun. He had expressions and had a way of speech that sung a song of deep care and carelessness. This wasn’t my first time seeing him, I had saw him a couple of times in here drinking iced coffee all the time which substantiates his character. A person that truly go against the grain, doing things their own way, the type being to sit outside as the rain sprinkles while everyone else tries to find shelter.
“Favorite person of Sheol” she said
“how y’all doing? My name is Elihay” He said as he ignored Ms.Latrice directing his attention towards us.
“Good” we both responded following our names
“Please, don’t entertain this fool, I recommend y’all leave before he causes trouble” Ms Latrice said as she sat Elihay and his companion at the table to the right of us, beginning to pour coffee for them.
“Dariyah is a interesting name and you dude I remember you…..and btw this one right here with me name is Eve…..this is my sister.”
“Thank you, and oh thats…..where do you know this guy right here from” Dariyah said with a devious smirk.
I shifted with a grunt. Dariyah sat back in her seat, and crossed her arms smiling as if she was anticipating something to her delight.
“Well I saw you with a group of people with a sign that said nothing has changed in the past 100 years, and one of y’all was screaming some radical things that went with the sign, real provocative if you ask me. Then you in specific got dragged away by the stability clerks”
Dariyah and the person that was with him caught eye contact and began laughing. They found the joke so funny that their guffawing could be heard across the room and had even infected Ms.Latrice.
“Yep that’s me, the crazy man meme of the month” I said sarcastically
“I told you everybody going to look at you like a looney that belong in a bin somewhere” said Dariyah.
“It’s okay sometimes you just have to sleep off the sha—” the woman said shrugging, not even getting the chance to finish by being cut off by both of there immediate laughter.
“Well, look—I would say sometimes i would say that maybe the people that be perceived crazy could be the sane ones, in a mad world only the mad are sane and you should listen to the uproar to find the root.” He said laying his hand on my shoulder almost as if he was consoling a crazy person.
“Man whatever, it was nice meeting y’all but I have to go.” I gave a sharp bark of sarcastic laughter, got up and gathered my stuff because the bus was pulling up outside the window; I had to be at work.
“Bye I will call you and come over after you get home, imma be running errands.” Dariyah said waving
“Your going to see your mother, be strong”
“Ok, see you later. Good luck”
“Please stop shut up” she replied
“Bye looney, rmb to get some sleep please” the woman said clasping her hands together as if praying.
“See you some time nice talking to you. John? Right? I agree with everything y’all say although. this world is being led down a certain path but continue on. I pray to HAY- our father we cross paths.” Elihay said.
“Yep, vice versa” I said rushing out the door throwing up a peace sign to Ms.Latrice with her throwing up one back.
CHAPTER 2
When I ride the bus it’s a time of reflection for a person. A throng of duty driven people getting from point A to B, with a crisp atmosphere. A silent sigh of relief or dread from the day filling the air with the occasional wailing of a child, random ambient but interesting conversations, laughter and a vehicle of cerebrate. It is a very uphill battle of the lifestyle I currently live; I go up the hill just to go right back down to then repeat it. Day in and day out I go to work to do the same thing for just barely enough to live off, while all the profit of our labor gets hoarded by the higher ups; but alas I can buy some shoes. You would think a bus ride with my headphones in, blasting my music would calm my thoughts and not agitate them. Sometimes it’s hard to drown out that There is an unbearable darkness and sorrow in my heart. The cup is long and filled to the brim and overflowing over the edges. I have to keep going, I can’t let it take over.
As Sisyphus and his rock was; me and the cup is now. I may manage to get close to what I feel is an empty cup but half full then overflowing it goes. “Just a little more, just a lil more then I can get there to that point” as I wither into myself in shame. I despise this system and working; and as a strong moral challenge for me it is I still work because I need to pay to live. Above the heavens below and below the heavens above despondency has filled the dome. Alas my pockets have a limit. A loss of freedom and hope is something I feel on most days and this bus is my one way ticket and road of great cogitation and gloom. I have to be strong, I can’t lose no more. I feel as I’m not free and this desire to gain freedom drives me day in and day out. I want to do more for myself and my people that I love. I want to feel happy but I cannot because of this world and my useless self so I have to fight. Every time I see a homeless person it saddens my heart, every time I see a disorderly family it stings in my core, every time I see a happy ,loving family a lil part of me feels envy just because I long for it because why was I not blessed to be accepted and loved. I Have to be great to even possibly earn that privilege, to get that discrimination. It’s a major reason as to why I have not accept Hay or other religions. I put anything that’s irreverent aside so that I can do what I have to do cause honestly what’s a man worth that flops and carps. The old man at the bus stop when his picture fell out it had angered me. reality is that many of us are on the risk of being no where ourselves and with no care to even the elders/Men that have fought for this country results in cases like this. On the picture it was a younger him, presumably his wife and his daughter. I knew it was his daughter and possibly his wife because it had “MY BELOVED DAUGHTER 2013”, “MY BELOVED 2010”, and “I WILL FOLLOW YOU SOON” written on the bottom.
They were both deceased obviously by the date next what he wrote as both were to old in that picture for that to be there birthdates and it couldn’t have been the date it was taken as it had “Kodak 2012” on it, the inscription meaning when it was taken and printed. A man with a deeply complicated life reduced to a former shell of himself. Whether due to circumstances or situations it’s a sad sight to see and many like to disassociate and seperate themselves from that reality. I am absolutely afraid of losing myself, I am afraid of not being loved. If not for this world and system would that man have been put in the position to lose himself and everything? something I think about a lot when I look at any common person what have they been through, how has it shaped them today, and are they loved.
As the bus stops and I reach my destination, “Tenel Industries” it says.
A warehouse and pharmaceutical company I spend my 40 plus hours a week at.
“Hey there John, how are you feeling today boy?” A raspy hollow voice said behind me as I was clocking in at the desk.
I looked back and greeted “art”; he was an elderly man with a drowsy wilt, and His hair has a gunmetal grey tint with a face that can appear world weary at times also but usually he is active and alert. He has been working here for 15 years he told me, and everybody calls him art, have never not once heard anybody call him his real name. Every other day he walks the two miles into town to work, and I could tell He must read not only at work but all the time because he has crow’s feet under his eyes.
“I’m feeling ight I guess”
“I should start asking you what’s wrong from now on instead” art laughed.
“I’m alright just doing all I can, acting off my conviction. Just doing what I have to do like usual”
“True” he responded, putting down his bag and coat.
“But recently you know I just been kinda rethink something’s. I was with dariyah earlier but I think I’ve been losing friends and I wonder why I have to be the weird one for keeping it real and acting out my truth sort of thing.”
“You don’t gotta be accepted, just do your thing!
Just sit down on your chair and embrace yourself with a book or some kind of entertainment. Me personally I like to chew tobacco but to each its own! The point is to just focus on yourself to do what you want. And show care to your mother.”
“Let me get that” I said pointing at his extra glove handing off his belt loop.
“But yeah”
“Yeah I’m gonna go see her after our shift.” I said puttin on the gloves.
“I had a good day earlier, when I was walking I had saw a turtle, it was just walking slowly across the sidewalk to the lake. Keeping n going until it made it— I waited so I could see do it. It placidly went along.”
“That’s cool, a random turtle” I chuckled
“Yep a turtle.”
The look, that gaze that art gave me when he said that, it felt projected as a mirage of a daydream. A strong look of hope,Duty and strength. He had it, Elihay had it, and my father did. It was something I wanted; it was a desire that made me suffer.
And we worked on.
Chapter 3
Dariyah ballad
“I won’t cry anymore” I said but yet…I get close to them sometimes. I have to play my role and fit in so I can get right. Even now I really want to win this time.
New pall city a city that is fun and filled with good but sometimes harsh fun. Sometimes fun sometimes not. It’s the occasional brawl, or gossip, and boy trouble happenings all around; I am in fact facing the latter right now. I’m in the middle about this city; countless sleepless nights and a day passed with butterfly’s in my stomach. I’ve been feeling like I’ve been losing my friends, and I’m getting outta touch with them for some reason. I do my best to be a good friend and a good person but that energy is often not reciprocated or even at all. People at the end of the day choose who they wanna be a good friend or person to and who not to. I’ve been withdrawing myself as of recent from a lot because it hurts. I just had half a thought to get me something to drink but I’m trying to not do it at all even if only a lil bit. Loud music, pretty flicks, alcohol, junk food, and partying to the moon to feel good. “You still live like a college student, she is emotionally immature, she just does as she wills! Like her mom” I overheard. “I’m not sure if I can commit either to be honest, I just don’t appreciate some of the things you do and say, I have my own things going on too, I’m trying my best but I will agree with you that this won’t work,” I’ve heard a couple times. she calls for a cold stare one of the small things in life that make it all worthwhile! That same look of disdain and disgust my father gave he had gave. Of regret and anger. All I know is that I do know wanna be deprived of love and by my lonesome like my mother. I seen my father in my first boyfriend, and I didn’t want to be like my mother. I don’t want to mess up but I end up always following in her footsteps. I bet even now I am. I just don’t understand, I just wanna feel good. Will I feel good with this?
Dariyah Marquee
I had talked with Elihay and the woman he was with. We had talked about how she had went to this bar called “The Brass Bar”, I know John had went to that one sometimes. She was saying how she saw a man with one hand fight a dude there because according to the man people would put him in weird positions to use his right arm to mess with him. Things like how they would reach for a handshake with their right arm or pass things like that. But this time was different he says, him and a group of random dudes were drunk dancing looking at the game and he gripped and squeezed his nub. Turns out Elihay was the dude that squeezed his nub! A really crazy story if you ask me. It was funny talking to them, and it was time for me to leave too. I had remembered John’s slick sleazy good luck remark and I had realized I needed it as I walked out. New pall city, A place of fight and breakdowns. A place with a woozy tonic and an occasional sleeping partner. A bite to eat with friends and a flick to save it in time every-time. This state of doubt and toxicity with situationships and friendships. The social pressure is heavy and the only one that truly helps me question and go against these key effects is John; and I dislike that.
My rides I order offer a more leisurely, straight and scenic experience, allowing me to appreciate the city’s unique neighborhoods.
Although it is a conscious effort in my mind to watch my surroundings and be wary of my driver and where they are going it’s nothing too stressful. I always make sure to take a mental note of physical and key descriptions as well as hooking and unhooking the seatbelt before they pull off(you can never be too safe). I sometimes when I’m In the mood(or sometimes just to distract myself) be fascinated to hear their stories and random convos. strangers temporarily share a common space and interact with kindness and curiosity; something that get toss aside by the echo chambers of our phones but I digress.
Dariyah Masquerade
I was outside his house. Usually this building lit up and I was smiling; now it’s tall and the shadow makes me shake.
I walked up the stairs and knocked on his door.
I went in. M
“Solomon, am I still the same, have I become better?”
“No, you have gotten better…..you are as pretty as ever.”
“I’m sorry that I cut things off
The way I did back then. I’ve really thought hard about what I’ve done….
I told you I had some work to do on myself and fell in love with a guy, but it was a lie. “
“No. He responded”
“It might be weird but I’ve become aware that I see my brother in you.”
“At first like I told you I unconsciously attracted and went after men like my father and I absolutely hated it. How he treated her and how she treated me, I don’t want to be like her.
But I realized was longing for
my brother in you, because you saved me like him.”
“His kindness, His caring heart, His Mercy, His persistence, His inability to commit to people, His prioritization of his pseudo duty over said people, and His Selfness You Have.”
“When I noticed that,
I was scared, so scared.”
“Staying with you, and Growing as a woman I would say scared me.”
“Everything was scary.”
“I felt guilty”
“I hated both of them, but I fell in love with a men like them.”
“I was deceiving and dodging responsibility by messing with other people after you and ignoring myself, I had never loved anyone like you, I’m sorry”
“You’re a liar. You’ve chosen to do that.
You don’t have to say sorry to me.”
“No, I didn’t choose !
I was simply running away.”
“John told me I ran away from pain into pain, and from the Ball and chain called family.
It’s just like my mom.”
“I’m a coward.”
“That’s enough.” He responded wiping my tears
“I’m so childish. I have no
right hating my mother”
“That’s enough.” He said again
“I’m hypocritical because I rely on you only at my inconvenience, just like now!”
“I don’t want to hurt you after you try to better like how I have with my brother. I don’t Want to be alone like how he left me”
“I hate it!”
“That’s enough. Stop.” He said once more
“I’m so ashamed
in myself!, please don’t leave me alone.”
“Stop”
My tear fell down—cold, but his warm hands wiped for a split second away this hurt.
He didn’t have nothing to say so he just responded with a hug.
“It’s okay, I’m sorry I put you under this much pressure. To be honest I had to leave and go off dariyah”
“I know” I responded with a sigh
“I have to get right, you know I have to secure this for the people I love and more importantly for myself. I am not capable and 100 percent with myself to be able to do this and we are the same in that fact that why I’m agreeing. I’m sorry dariyah but I cannot be the man you need me to be”
“I understand, when will I see you again”
“Sometime soon, I’ll be back in town…..but I won’t you to focus on your loved ones”
“Hm” I grunted
“John, your brother and your other ones keep close to…..love them because they love you with they all….You deserve to feel good.”
I left. I I didn’t get what I wanted once more, I failed and I’m alone. What did I do this time? Im my mother.
I went home so I could change to go to John house. I looked @ my clothes and began to throw them. Pushing and throwing everything on my dresser in a rage. Kicking and flailing, exerting any type of force on whatever was surrounding. I roared and laughed and yelled.
I sat, stopped and scrolled on my phone to get my mind off my thoughts. “Get pretty, and get out there……this will make you look and feel good, change up your style to get looks, be extravagant…..and flashyy girly..mwah mwah
Subscribe and kisses”. I scrolled a little bit more and saw him repost one of his friends. She was pretty; is this what it takes to be recognized?
A few minutes passed by, and she was twiddling her hair, checking out how she looked in her phone camera. She had changed her clothes, put her hair in a put up style. Pranced up lash,a smooth and consistent glam on her face.
The phone rang, Dariyah flinched and slowly looked to her phone to see John calling; Her nerves tensed.
“Yes”
“Ah….Hello, you alright?”
“Yes I’m okay” I responded shuffling around.
“Ok…Ok, well im gettin g off right now. I’m on the way to the bar right now, just left….….I have a key under my pot on the left of the mat.” He said
“Okay, thanks see you”
“Yes…..be safe” he said and hung up.
I thought I would look like the girls they like and live my best life.The temporary intimacy I occasionally get will never be on par with a real relationship or even the relationship I have with John; Genuineness. What would it really solve to go on be promiscuous again. Like John said “Did the problems you have in your relationships and your life currently get resolved by having sex with the 20th person this month?, did you become a relationship and man guru because you have “experience”……..The only experience you are getting is experience in…getting used”.
“I’m having fun, I’m exploring myself and letting go, I’m doing what I want!” I responded foolishly.
“You can keep lying to yourself, but your horny and lonely…..the only thing your learning how to do is having sex with multiple people and that’s a useless skill……Cant run from pain into more pain…you have to do the hard work to love yourself first and for others to love you second,”
He said.
Isn’t sad how in a instance it can go from “you are everything I’ve ever wanted an more” to “it was good while it lasted, you were a good experience” or to even forever silence.
Chapter 4
Encounter of Fate
A cold dwelling full of misery but at the same time hope. A building where beginnings and ending happen. A part of me hated coming here; sometimes the atmosphere would take me over.
This time though and as of late, I feel that apart me is here that I’m afraid of losing. Something important that used to unknowingly regret.
As I look down at mother with the periodic beeping of the EKG, it begins to put me in a trance. My mother through a botched surgery have sat here in a coma. She was here but not here at the same time. My Mother was the one that provided for me and worked her absolutely hardest for me and my brothers. My mother was very kind and understanding as she wanted to help people ahead of herself; she want to be the best mother/model she could be. She believed that a person should only find love through hard work; as love was only deserved through hard work in her opinion(it definitely robbed off on me). Sometimes pain comes from happiness and that it is better to be in pain yourself than to cause pain to others. However, she’s a massive hypocrite as she failed to take her own advice as she frequently did not put in any effort or work into the mental spiritual and emotional development of us; it was painful, she was in pain herself. Running from pain into more pain was useless, and I I always thought was it worth suffering for unrequited pleasure. She would abuse me but at the same while putting everyone else’s and my own heart above her own. Her main motivation for overworking was to help our “financial issues”. Living check to check with no time to educate or nurture your family is a tough burden that many pick up. She just wanted more just like everyone else which means she gave her own life up for nothing but at the same time it was everything. My view on her didn’t and never will do Justice by her. She chose to distant herself from me which in the past sealed my feelings for a lot of things. I thought her as lower, to cope. My mom didn’t show no affection towards me. I did understand she worked and had no time realistically to coddle, inquire, indulge in me; but it still hurted. She had gained none of the skills necessary too and had long been hurt her self to not even have the energy anymore to regain them. People just as hurt as her hurting her. I forgive her as she forgave them. I love her.
I asked my brother if he believed in the power of fate and that 4 years ago at my first time watching a protest, I thought I saw my mother; she looked happy, healthy and was moving around and I followed her, only for her to not be her. Later that night I had a very vivid dream of me her and my brothers living on a farm, chopping down trees, having animals, and family time at the table. In the dream we were dancing, laughing, chilling, and at peace. I had scars all over and in the dream I had not enough energy to do much but I was happy because we were finally one— a family. In the dream i was only able to achieve that great feeling after fight and wounded. Fighting with her rooting and encouraging me at my side. So Every Day I dream of becoming strong and a great activist with my mom watching and happy. The majority of our problems lied with the system. This system pushes individualism. This system pushes people apart and at the pursuit of money there is no bounds to what needs to be done. We have disregarded of any moral fiber or principles. That’s why I feel anything should be done to get rid of all this at any means necessary. That’s why I research, and I speak against this corrupt world full of lies, because it is a disservice to humanity. I looked at my mother as I told her what has happened in my week like I usually did. The doctors told me to give up, as she would never be able to talk or laugh again. It’s all my fault because she had to sacrifice everything for me; it’s all my fault I haven’t fought hard enough to be free. I forgive her as she forgave them. I love her. I hope she forgives me for what I have done.
I saw my mother there. I must reach it. So I can wake her up and we can live free. I only ask for mercy.
A cold buzz chilled through me, and a Smokey honey filled my nose. Tobacco and a sweet drink from a cask I was facing at the bar. I come here just to chill and give my self a sense of relief from it all. 70% of the times I come here it’s after I’ve left talking to my mom. I just love a good time. I talk to different people and hear and witness funny things. A fight, someone flipping a table, A Roaring Laugh, A “I don’t go into business with fat people because there inherently irresponsible”, A group of people dancing and singing, capturing the moment on there phone. I look and see a person with a big yellow jacket arm wrestling some dude. “You a punk, give up, you not worth nothing”. “I need this money” he said stammering. A 10 second struggle later and the man had gave up and she had shoved his arm into the table making it and all the bear and cards fall—Laughter and screaming erupted. “eve come drink with us, tell us the story man” said a group of men. “Damn it Eve……same time next week?” he said extending his arm out as he was now on the floor. “Sure, you can keep half of your money, I know your wife would kill you if she found out you was here again.” They said picking up their now half empty bottle of whiskey first off the floor and then giving a hand up. He began dusting his self off and then said “She got mad this time because
I bought a cassette player and a pack of liquor earlier before I came here…..I don’t know why she got mad?”
“Maybe…..because you’re an idiot, there is no use for a cassette player and Didn’t you just get arrested last week for a dui? How did you even get here?” They chuckled.
He put his index up to his mouth, signaling a can’t speak on that sort of thing and shuffled away to the pool table.
They had sat down next to me at the bar and screamed “ give me two mugs of something hard that could numb a bear!!” As the person was finish the bottle they already had.
They looked over at me and kind of lit up and said “Hey I know you…..you’re the crazy man from earlier. 100, 100, manic man?”
“What?” I snickered, “who are you?”
They took off their hoodie and it was the person we was at breakfast with “Eve”. I knew the the name sounded familiar but I didn’t think she would be here. She was a slim but toned, and burly individual. She had short curly hair slicked back in a pony tail had a tall boyish figure. She had a hoydenish attitude and posture in her sittting and vernacular that was noticeable to me because I barely saw it earlier. Her jeans were cuffed and her shirt was large and baggy.
“Hey how are you…..didn’t think I would see you this soon” i said as I attempted a sort of side hug like I usually do with females I know but I was greeted with a dap instead. “Oh yeah I come here all the time, I see you some times but usually about this time I be drunk out of my mind in the corner somewhere or fighting and I’ve been kicked out…….your pretty crazy yourself, what kind of education did you get?” She said chugging down the drinks the bartender gave her.
“I’m not crazy and what kind of question is that seriously……actually now that you mention it I have seen somebody with your stature being carried out before.” I responded
“Wellll, I meant your our pretty bold with your whole activism thing, and honestly it’s takes you wouldn’t normally hear in school……Destroy Classism, pedophiles in high places, coloration monopolies, blah blah……….real outrageous claim” she said stuffing her face with the wheezing, slumped drunk man to the left of her plate they didn’t finish.
“Welll what’s your opinion about it? Do you feel it’s just crazy talk or it isn’t based on reality.” I responded
By outrageous, I don’t mean it’s crazy……..it’s just bound to cause controversy and chaos!” She laughed and then continued saying “Imagine telling people the lives the live, love and have conform in is a lie….and the systems and people they have trust in is garbage and going to collapse…..its bound to ruffle feathers!”
“Yeah, that’s something I realized recently tbh….. Cognitive Dissonance starts to play in and you don’t want to see a different perspective outside of your own especially if you had a certain view beneficial to you and your goals or lifestyle……people are not ready to change something that they enjoy.” I responded
“But there is something very interesting that I head you say one Saturday……..you mentioned the third place?” She said with a curious tone in her voice as if her eyes itself— the way she was looking at me, her very eyes asking for more.
“Yeah I was saying that the internet being our third place has truly ruined us. After coming from school or work we go home but people don’t have a third place no more to truly be sociable, be human and have fun…..In this country even if we do have a third place it’s still a money barrier……For example! We just spend like 20 dollars on dang near 2 beers, some people would just rather go home tbh.”
“True sometimes I would rather just waste my time with my 20 dollars on my useless rentflix subscription and chill at home….It’s place in other countries where you can drink for dang near a couple of dollars with food and they are willing to go with friends and just chill with the people of the community almost every day because a commodity like that is cheaper.” She interjected
“Exactly there is my point. We don’t have many place to be your consistent third place to chill at and get your mind off things, there is no place to chill and have consistent casual talks with the pope of your community for real……instead the longing that people do have they flock to the the internet to get satisfaction with those needs. You will see hundreds of people along a bridge or just investing in some random event at a park…….and while at that on any random day you will see a lot of kids playing at a park…….Hey let me get another.” I said signaling the bar tender to come over
“Social media has indeed ruined our relationships and connections to be honest you are right,” she said
“Some people say social media is reality too, they say you know it’s real, it’s funny, my friends are on there, I can be seen and become big……it’s if it’s real to me and close to me it’s a real thing to invest in,” I said a lil detracted by her statement but I then focus and added onto it.
“That’s so wrong, that isn’t real life,
this isn’t real,” She responded.
“The illusion of options and over saturation corrupts a persons mind.
if they won’t someone else will
this like horrible toxic mindset of
replacing people you know…… This society built around convenience culture has convinced people that if human connection isn’t easy and instantaneous then it isn’t worthwhile,” I said
“I don’t think people really understand how significantly more complex it would be to replace the people and connections that are in your real life with someone who’s in online,” she said taking a drink.
“social media ruins authentic thoughts everyone is looking for validation and cant make up their own opinion anymore,” I said.
THIS!!!! It’s actually so jarring seeing the loss of community and compassion society has for one another in real time People want to be treated or looked at as special based on what they have or who they are but not what they can offer and how they can better themselves and others around them with it.” She responded
“There is a lack of authenticity in people actions because of social media and the state of our society…….you need to flock and be with people that has the image that they are well of or liked,” she continued
“Or you need to be around people that have something you need or want and there to be some kind of benefit to them, kind of like parasites……Love has become transactional,” I responded
“But I think it’s insane how people will just really let you know words or perceptions or ideason a phone screen or on a video
really determine and shape there entire actions and it may lead them to hurting someone. We confuse concepts and realities of what’s real and what’s not in our own real life not really understanding that your real life actually takes a toll on you,” she interjected.
“I look at my watch and see it’s getting late and I take a quick glance to see it has gotten very dark so I say “Well it’s about that time, I have enjoyed this conversation…….well honestly me one other person and my friend from earlier Dariyah, we were going to go to my house to just give out and drink and stuff if you wanna come we can continue this convo on the way? What do you say?”
“Hmmm yeah I’ll go let me make precautions right fast and let my care taker and Elihay know……also I’ll see if he wants to come,” she responded
“That’s cool with me, I’ll let her know,” I said
She grabbed another bottle, and took the sleeping drink untouched bread of his table, and had screamed “see you tomorrow you morons, I will come back and continue my reign of terror and let’s hope that dummy doesn’t get divorced”
They all said their farewells and the man from earlier she beat had laughed at her sentiment. I could tell she was really loved from and respected in there.
Chapter 5
“It was something you said earlier about people loving you for some quality but when you get stronger in that they start to distance themselves from you. Even when your being genuine with a person they still will do you dirty and it hurts….People handling situations carelessly Hurts. After the hurt It changes your concept and thought of what you’ve experienced and you will try your best to avoid it.” She said visibly looking distraught with what she said like she related it to it
“These things hurt…..it hurts so bad because what you thought you were over comes back @ 3AM to haunt you or you eating lunch or doing something mundane and something will remind you off it,” She continued.
“Trauma does not know time. When you put or you are in a traumatic experience you can’t tell what when or how long it will heal or even how or when the memory of the trauma will torture you or them again. We walking around as hurt individuals suffering from the widest arrangement of things from our past. Some people out here don’t realize this so they are careless in situations destroying things……like a little child handing a glass bottle we no sense of how easily it could break if not handled carefully,” I said
“there’s certain places we serve in people’s heart just because they have unlocked a certain aspect of ourselves that they now have access to. They love us for whatever thing we have showcased. And I think like that’s not something to just like skip over you know,” I continued.
“But does that entail a deep connection? What if what you displayed before was a facade or what if what they love or like you for is something that you have evolved from for the better or worse then what? They won’t adapt to your change and they will feel like you’ve switched up or is not as connected with them as before. Because what they like your for isn’t something you showcase no more……if your known as being funny and know you are a lil more serious it’s gonna be a disconnect, then what?” She said.
“I am a victim of that. People loved me because I did whatever I wanted. I was funny and random and I just was overall free in my actions. I started to go away from that into my own version of that not the perception they had. I am now still doing what I want, being random and funny just not in the way that want or was accustomed to. I went from what I was to know seeking truth and attempting to be a man of God…I am still acting out of my nature just not in the way they expect me to. But I don’t know, I sometimes do feel very lonely and now that I act against in my own interest and against what I was known for I’m now ostracized…..it’s weird and it hurts, I think about it often. I honestly down the answer to your question,” I responded.
“ I really can’t comprehend the answer to your question, Love is……tricky, I know the answer I just can’t comprehend it. How can you connect with others? How can you love those beneath you in whatever aspect while they perceive you as not having weakness. Our parents tell us to be strong but I feel like they don’t say the consequences of being strong. I always come to two questions at the end of this thread in my mind,” I said with audible switch of a low and agitated tone in my voice.
“Which is?” She responded curiously.
“Does strength bring solitude? and is the pursuing to polish yourself and reach greater heights simply a cross the strong must bear alone?,” I said calmly.
It was a quietness in the air, and only the bustling of the city that was not audible when we were talking is now loudly heard. It was a coldness in the wind that hit the ears and made it numb. We had walked in comfortable silence after that, only being interrupted by the ringer of her phone.
“Elihay said he will come in he has some business to handle then he will be on the way. I’m suprised he wants to come, we are very wary of being around people, we start to be come a liability because of certain circumstances we are involved in” she said
“Are you a criminal or something, what circumstances are y’all in,” I responded with a chuckle but I was obviously curious
“We all got secrets and things we would rather not say too soon unless needed to….. you know what I mean KISONGO,” she said with an emphasis on my name.
I had flinched and was visibly startled a bit by what she had said.I hadn’t been called that in years it was shocking. I looked and said “How do you know that……my name?” I said shakily.
I told you, we have to be wary because of certain circumstances we are involved in and also Elihay had took an interest in you. Your ideology and also of course who you are interests him highly,” she said
“Why me?” I asked
“Well just maybe you can help him change everything and make this world better, he has friends and enemies in high places and you can help him achieve his goal just like I am helping him,” she said
“We have honestly been keeping up with your efforts for awhile, we seen your progress with the group you had started, your videos and even the book you released anonymously that caused a little fuss……Your a brave one,” she continued
“Just who are y’all, how do y’all have this info? Are you with L.A.W? I was told that the L.A.W would leave me and my mother alone if I were to quote on quote lay low and not use my name,” I said visibly on guard.
“We are not with L.A.W, we are vagabonds that go to and from seeking wisdom and truth. We are Essenes of the Reformers, and our caretaker I mentioned earlier is the ‘The Teacher of Righteousness’ himself. Our main Goal is to create a clear fence in this world. We want to make the line between what’s Good and What’s evil apparent. So people will have no excuse and they will condemn themselves if they do evil, Because all propaganda and nurturing that society does aside you have a clear idea of what’s good for human mind and what’s not,” She said as she stopped walking and was looking at me with an intense stare, as if she was peering into my very soul waiting for it to move to her statements.
“Wow The Teacher of Righteousness is yall master? So are y’all candidates for the prophecy? This has honestly caught me off guard……..I don’t know what to do, I do want to accept this offer but I’m afraid an association with a figure like that would cause the L.A.W to act, I’m not concerned with my safety but of that of my mothers,” I said sadly
“Our organization can keep her safe, we have power as well. Elihay himself is pretty powerful too. People are not really aware but just because we are smaller than the FORMERS or the other Faiths we still have a lot of pull in policies and when the international Conventions happen; we all communicate often, even though communications have been getting a little complicated recently, so what do you say?” She said reaching her hand out waiting for a handshake.
“I don’t know……I can’t lose her too, I’m just as afraid now as I was back then, Is there some guarantee or solubility for my heart and for that of hers? In the past I hesitated and I’m afraid of failure if what had happened is any indication of what could. Say something. Please. Give something to cling on up to,” I said
You want me to tell you it was okay to be afraid or to be afraid now? I cant. But look around at least now we are numb enough that there is little to nothing left to be afraid of. The world is ok the brink, so I’ll ask you this: What are you gonna do about it?” She said
The next step has presented itself to me after asking and pleading the higher power for it. And now that I have gotten it I hesitate. I stood there stunned, I was deaf to all noise around me and the only things I could see was her extended hand towards mine. It feel like time itself had slowed down to a standstill and although the next step was there I didn’t know where to step.
Chapter 6
Dariyah Inquisition
I had gotten cold and had stopped at Johnnys to talk and get a hot chocolate for awhile until I left for John House. I left because it was time for her to close up shop so I said see you later and had gone about my business. I had looked down near the City hall and was admiring the Golden temple. It’s Known as the Temples or the meeting of the Congregation of I’Haba; The people of the way, one of the sects of llapanwan huklla: One with All. They believe that all religion is revealed in an orderly and progressive way by a single GOD through Manifestations of GOD, who are the founders of major world religions throughout our history; Kristos in křesťanský , Hammad Shlomo in Nvćharism and ‘The One That Came’ in llapanwan huklla are noted as the most recent of these before the one who will come. They say the one God periodically reveals his will through divine messengers, whose purpose is to transform the character of humankind and to develop, within those who respond, moral and spiritual qualities. These things seen as orderly, unified, and progressive from age to age. llapanwan huklla regard the world’s major religions as fundamentally unified in purpose, but diverging in terms of social practices, Messanger morals, and interpretations. llapanwan huklla stresses the unity of all people as its core teaching and explicitly rejects notions of racism, sexism, and nationalism. They worship and adore HAY and they make a very important point about calling on his name. They believe in HAY and he is comprised and existing as one person only. They have in the past called the other 2 out on not using the name of HAY. In NIVCHARISM they say his name is too precious, and in the other they regard Kristos as God; which they heavily criticize. At the heart of llapanwan huklla teachings is the goal of a United world order under the teaching of HAY that ensures the prosperity of all nations, races, creeds, and classes.
Letters and epistles by the NIVCHAR people along with specific writings by Kristos and talks by the progenitor of all 3 religions, ‘lowo wayenikiwe’ have been collected and assembled into a canon of scriptures. The llapanwan huklla collection includes works by the Teacher of Righteousness throughout, who is regarded as the llapanwan huklla forerunner. Each religion has different interpretations, book and view of kristos and each include there on add on collection of works by forerunners in their religion. There is probably about one Golden temple seen in major cities everywhere. You will see more usually in poor areas and in country sides. They are called the reformers because they are more on the esoteric side and wishes to reform the world and policies more closer to God rather than the secular way governments go about things. The llapanwan huklla had went to war with the Auropiac nations affiliated with křesťanský through 1050-1788. It is known as the longest war and gruesome in human history. It was a long war truly based majority in religion and land disputes. They were slowly taking over the continent of Aethiopia enslaving and converting the people that were then llapanwan. The United countries of auropiac had won but internationally the llapnwan had influence already and when the first international congressional meeting had happened after the WW1 or the NIVCHAR War it’s known as, they had granted and gave the llapanwan huklla resources to establish themselves in certain countries of Auropiac and the then new nation of Babil. The United Aethiopa Governemnt that had came together responded to the assault against the continent were destroyed and the people of the land was displaced, with the land, economy and environment being wildly underdeveloped and exploited even to this day. llapanwan huklla had token the role of the leader and spokesperson for the people of the continent after a lot of fighting countries are no longer owned by any Auropiac countries but they are still to this day being exploited. Some people call llapanwan huklla sell outs because they feel as if Aethiopa hasn’t progressed and that the corruption that still exists is perpetuated and allowed to happen because they profit of it. llapanwan huklla continues to deny it saying that the west has continued to exploit and destroy righteous leaders and stops attempts that will better the continent purely because they want to be in control of its rich resources. I am one of those too that question llapanwan huklla blind eye to the corruption in the past. Although recently it have been uprising against the militias funded by western corruptions and there is leaders in Aethiopa different countries that is starting to get more radical and United against the mistreatment of Aethiopic people.
I had saw Elihay coming out The Golden Temple and he was with the ‘AMMA’. The AMMA is the woman leaders of the Golden Temples. A AMMA is a mother who would literally do anything for her children and grandchildren. The AMMA is the speaker of the land, they speak and calls for the restoration and upkeep of the land. There main prayer goes like this:
“Our Fallen Brothers and Sisters blood cry’s out from her, and the father hears the wailing of the land.
For she cry’s out from every corner of her, to her core—Alkebulan Ītyoṗya, Saying “ABBA please rectify the living and reprimand the dead, For the dead only covers there eyes, Spread locusts, Carry mouth of frogs, and spills blood.
Seperate the waters once more and reap– Seperate the oil and anoint, For We—Creation itself await the birth of the sons of God.
It was, as it is, and it will be once again. They—the Sons of God will have answered the plea of creation. Our righteousness sustains us, and through the word Our father pleads through the land to us.”
I myself am a Essene I would say. My brother taught me a lot about it as he is one. I am not as connected to essenage and to God as I should be and want to. The I’Haba doesn’t differ too much from the Essenes it’s just a different focus with each one. I do want to take the next step in my journey but I’m not where I want to be and I’ve been a little disinterested in thinking about it outside my brother. It startled me to see Elihay talking to the AMMA as it was extremely late in the night and the Head AMMA is usually only seen on the ‘YOD’ Day of the month. There are many AMMAS in the temples but the Head AMMA comes out on the YOD Day mainly; The ‘YOD’ DAY is a day of strict fast from dawn until sunset. The people are not allowed to eat or drink (even water) during daylight hours. It is a day of religious observance and abstinence from work where they eat a meal and a festival of many lights; I only know because my brother took me a couple months back. Elihay had given her a book and she had gotten down and had kissed the back of his hand! I was so shocked I had kind of just stood there. Obviously it’s a gesture that indicates respect, admiration, affection or even devotion by one person toward another. You would sometimes rarely even see a AMMA do that to a ’Ud’! Who is this man really?
He had looked over and had saw I was standing there and waved at me. He had kind of gestured to her to stand from what I could see and had gave her a hug. He began to walk over and had said “Hello Eve, How are you today”
“I’m good what about you Mr.President Sir of importance,” I said
He laughed joyously and then said “Arnt I supposed to be about my Father’s and Mothers business? I came to tell AMMA Jenna to talk about to set at liberty them that are bruised, and a recommendation to make that the talking point for this month ’YOD’”
“Is your father a UD or your mother AMMA? They must be someone pretty high up to listen to their recommendation and to kiss the hand of their son who sent it……..by the bruised you mean the Filastin refugees?” I responded with a confused tone in my voice.
“Hmm yeah that’s partially right, yes it could be in reference to the ones of Filastin but many in this world is bruised from a happening that left a broken heart in every home. Physical goods is something we can give but they need to be kippered to have rest,” he said
I was confused and didn’t really understood what he was saying. He reminded me of John, of how he would say certain things in ways that sound like poetry and then he would break it down to me more. I had gist of what he was saying so I just let it go not inquiring more at the moment.
“So where are you heading too,” I said
“With you?,” he said in a confused but sure tone.
“What do you mean?,” I responded.
“Well Eve texted me about going to Elihay place and you were gonna be there, I honestly thought the only reason you even met me here is because she must’ve told him to tell you I was here,” he said
“Oh, I knew nothing about this…….Well come on I was just heading there, didn’t know y’all were coming…….don’t know why he didn’t tell me this, he is so good for nothing,” I said
“Well he’s probably a little busy right now I would say, but shall we? I’m glad we ran each other…..it’s dangerous to be walking alone at night,” he said
We had began walking and it was a chill and comfortable feeling. Although I barely knew him his talk and the way he walked gave off he was trying but with no effort to make me comfortable in his presence; And it was working, I barely knew Him but I was indeed comfortable. He then asked me a question that wasn’t quite prepared for.
“So what is your relationship with John? I know y’all are not lovers but the intimacy is definitely there, it’s platonic of course like a bee and flower but the way he looks at you sometimes could give off a different impression?,” he asked
“The way he looks at me? I…um don’t know about that, but I have love for him of course and we’ve had many deep conversations and close encounters in the past, but right now and from now on he’s just my best friend like a brother to me I would say,” I responded
I chuckled then said, “That’s such a random question to ask, what about her?…..Eve? What’s y’all relationship?”
“Hm, I’m glad you didn’t refer to her as that. Even though I do, recently she’s been kind of insufferable towards other people calling her a she,” he said
“Oh I meant, I didn’t kind of notice at first because what she was wearing, but when she talked I knew. I try to be respectful towards people with the gender thing by just calling them there name……..that’s what John taught me,” I said
“…This wasn’t who she used to be. But y’all are respectable or I would say its intuition acted out of your generosity thatyall just refer to her as her name. She used to be less overwhelming and coarse but recently she’s been a little more sensitive and more apparent with her self,” he said
[Break] *****
The day after eve was crowned homecoming queen, cameras seemed to follow her everywhere…
And 10 years ago at day break, she had made the decision which brought her to The Golden Temple in Shachath (The Capital of Eustralia). He recalled the meeting. He had almost missed it…As he had got done preaching but had ran into a girl that ran away in fear.
“THE
MINUTIAE THINGS
ALL THOSE
PEOPLE
BELIEVE
YOU’RE
A GOOD PERSON,
IS NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR GOOD DEEDS OR THE
GREAT THINGS YOU’VE SAID…ITS BECAUSE OF YOUR APPEARANCE.
Because of your appearance and how you act off of the perception of how people that look like you should act they love you. If yo go off a lil bit from the standard like not being able to protect or be strong, or being too emotional, or liking things or saying things that girls would, if you were to show little tendencies outside of how a man should be like his walk, or his stance, the tone or even anything people would condemn and ridicule you for it and you won’t feel like yourself!!!
BECAUSE YOU’RE A MAN , IT PERSUADES THEM THAT YOU MUST BE A PROTECTOR, AND STRONG; A SYMBOL OF LEADERSHIP! OFF YOUR SWEET WORDS
YOUR FACE, SEX PARTS, HEIGHT, PHYSIQUE,
THE WAY YOU SPEAK, YOUR TONE
AND WAY OF SPEAKING…
ANY HOPES AND LOVE
PEOPLE HAVE
IN OTHERS COME FROM
THEIR AP-PEARANCE!
AND IT’S NOT JUST OTHER FOLKS…YOU YOURSELF HAVE TO WEAR THAT APPEARANCE AND GO ALONG WITH IT AND THE CRAZY PART IS…IF YOU DONT THEN PEOPLE WILL HATE IF YOU GO AGAINST THERE EXPECTATIONS! I AM CONSTANTLY REMINDED WITH ONLY HATE INSTEAD OF LOVE OR ACTUAL GENUINE COMPASSION OR HELP. PEOPLE ONLY RIDICULE ME INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY HELPING ME.
THAT’S
WHY IT
MAKES
ME FEEL
SICK….!
BECAUSE
I HATE!! I Hate it.
I’M A MAN ON THE INSIDE, BUT MY BODY IS THAT OF A FEMALE!! I CANT MOVE PAST WHATS HAPPENED.
EVEN IF I EXPLAIN IT, THERE’S NO WAY YOU COULD UNDERSTAND…
IT HURTS, IT HURTS SO BADLY.
I’M A MAN,
ВUТ MY
BODY AND VOICE ARE FEMININE.
AND WHEN I START
THINKING ABOUT IT…
IT MAKES SICK!!
I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A MALE..I CANT MOVE ON FROM WHAT HAPPENED!
DONT YOU THINK I TRY MY HARDEST CONSTANTLY TO BE NORMAL AND BE STRAIGHT? IT PULLS ME APART FROM THE INSIDE OUT, I TRY SO HARD BUT MENTALLY AMD PHYSICALLY MY BODY CAMT REACT HOW I WANT IT TO. THAT MOMENT IS ETCHED IN MY VERY CORE AND I HATE IT.
IF YOU WORK HARD ENOUGH,
BUT THAT’S YOU CAN BE THE
SOMETHING
PERSON YOU
I CAN NEVER
WANT TO BE.
DO…”
*****
A lot of people question me unnecessarily regarding my companions, like Why does he eat and Flock together with bad people and sinners? It is not the vigorous who need a doctor, but the unwell. I do not not come to call and correct the righteous, but sinners. it is to do the will of him who sent us and to finish her work for us too. Your people have farms don’t they? They say, ‘It’s still four months until harvest’? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. There are seeds that have fruit that can bare but need a lil more nutrients from her. the one who reaps draws a remuneration and harvests a crop for Food, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together. Thus the saying ‘One sows and another reaps’ is very true. I will pick what’s ready for picking and wait even more patiently so for the emerging ones. Others have done the hard work, and My Mother and Father do work and I hope to reap the benefits of their labor. I want to be No one patches an old coat with a new piece of cloth that will shrink. Otherwise, the new patch will shrink and rip away some of the old cloth, and the tear will become worse. People are afraid of criticism from these people who insisted on the separation of people that are outcasts not understanding their hurt and picking up their cross and understanding. Yet we know that a person is made right with Hay by faith in the ruler that is Kristos. We will be measured up to him just like he is a yard stick and we a foot; we would be judged and measured up to him as he is the sin benchmark because he became the one without. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with Hay because of our faith in Mesias. Our father is spirit and his spirit dwells with us so we should try to help the ones that are poor in spirit,” he said.
“That’s a W tangent, you remind me of John so much it’s funny but scary,” I responded jokingly.
“Well he and his father was sent ahead of me, and his time has not fully blossomed so I have not come into full glory yet. The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice,” He said
“Come before you? He talks about a mission from God a lot lately did y’all have talks before or something? Who are you really?” I said confusingly thinking about what I saw at The Golden Temple.
“I will this to let you know this, to tell you who I am or I guess who I will become. The fact is, Love will not come to us unless we go to it. We show love through our actions and through our beliefs. If you look closely, love is everywhere. It is in the wind in the trees, it is in the snow. Love is what softens the Earth.
If you do not love, or allow yourself to love, you will only live a half life. Love will not hurt you. Whilst you may experience pain and sorrow through love, love is the key to an open and giving heart. You can’t hide from love for fear of love hurting you. Love is ascension and what connects you to God.” He said looking at me as if he were pitying me; I hated that look, John would look at me just like this while one of his lectures.
“You are really similar to John, I don’t understand how y’all are this intuitive especially because you don’t know me from a can of paint but love is not for me I fear. I envy and hate happy people, and people in love alike.
I’m jealous of how they can be so chipper and kind,
When people can be so cruel and ugly, and they hurt people, even I hurt people and I am forever ashamed,” I said
“‘I hate sad people,
I hate how they can be so pessimistic and angry, When people can be so humble and at peace, ’ Is probably what John would say right?………The difference between you and those people is perseverance and indifference to the past beside working from it. We are mirrors for the person standing in front of us, and you don’t like looking at something you feel like you don’t deserve but at the same time it’s something you want; I’m other words measure up to,” he said
We had continued talking and I was very impressed with his wisdom and intellect. He kind of scared me in the same way John scare me. Not in a fearful way but in an anxious way. Why do they know everything I did, why can they tell me feelings I can’t even explain. If I dig within will I be able to see like that they do. I want to increase my spirit so I will continue to try my hardest. I came to the conclusion that I will try to rectify with my brother completely and see what he knows. I will just try to be better, heal and align my spirit.
“The poor in spirit know they are spiritually bankrupt. they are broke for real and nothing is wrong with realizing that fact. It is a confession that something is wrong and they are rebellious to themself in heaven and earth. They cannot be fulfilled by one’s own strength, but only by a beggar’s reliance on Fathers and Mothers Power. No one mourns until they are poor in spirit; no one is meek towards others until he has a humble view of himself. If you don’t sense your own need and poverty, you will never hunger and thirst after righteousness; and if you have too high a view of yourself, you will find it difficult to be merciful to others, It takes faith to have love just the same like having faith in God. It takes Faith to have love because you never know what will happen, and actions can change; love being discrimination is based on conditions,” he told me; this being the main thing I took away from our convo.
He told me to say this prayer and I will try.
~
“You, HAY, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water I know through my mother you will provide.
From the land I came and she will provide because I am a gift to her. The land is a gift to me too so there I will seek HAY and I will have faith I will find him. if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul you will find yourself.
A Psalm of Dailies, when he was in the wilderness of Norah. O God, you are my HAY; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. But seek first the kingdom of Spirit and their righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. And without faith it is impossible to get what you want or need, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that they rewards those who seek them.”
CHAPTER 7
Convergence of Fate
******
“YOU STUPID DOG, WHOS CHILD IS IT” he yelled with the bat in his hand.
“IT IS YOURS, IM TELLING THE TRUTH, TRUST AND BELIE—“
CRACK*
The sound was similar to a wooden thunder clap that just reverberates through a stadium for a split second after a ball is hit before the crowd roars. And then with a flash of pain she was on her back, bewildered. He stood above her, panting, his hand still curled in a fist, and one holding the bat.
CRACK*
—the sound of a brittle table snapping
POW*
A shrill, Deafening, pulse and brutal sound the warred down wood of the bat made when struck on bare flesh.
“YOU BETRAYED MY LOVEE, YOU MADE ME DO THIS, WHYY,” He screamed and put down the bat and loaded back a kick aimed at her stomach.
The dog stopped barking but instead it started erratically wailing.
A scream devoid of breath she screeched; at the same time she was trying to suck air back in her body. her fingers and toes straightened and relaxed.
she twitched, her body barely moving, the violet bruises stark against her pale skin.
“You all were dogs, I didn’t doubt nothing for a second, I will not allow it. ungrateful, I will punish you with my own hands”
His broad voice deafening, as his body tensed up violently getting ready to swing again.
I opened my eyes
I woke up to a good smoky but foul stench; a soggy, heavy, bloody shirt.
I had red on my hands and an intense ache from a knot on my head.
I turned around and there he was sitting eating breakfast he had cooked.
The bruises on his face were a rainbow of color.
He glared and said “Good Morning, Eat up and let’s figure out what we have to do”
******
“Truly I tell you love is worthless, why complain about these things, if you wished to become something more but now you claim to be ‘strong’,” a dark skin man worn down by war and years said. He has a rough and stubble goatee a galway. Some of his hairs were beginning to be winter-white powder-white. He had a dark and low angle to his eyes and his face look chiseled as if it were tried through the fire of time. Two of his fingers are crooked, messed up by an injury. He had a solid frame and his stature was that of a prideful seasoned veteran . He was not extremely muscular, but he was burly. He has no fears no more, everything has gone from him. He is ruthless and would be happy if the whole world just disappeared although he had connections here.
A van covertly parked around the corner away from the sidewalk Eve and John was having their conversation at, creaped upon them. The van dished out with a siren and a satellite dish and radio transmitter on the top. Inside the van was this man named Levi Vaikira and it was another man with him too in the van named Dean. They are agents from the A.I.C in the division I charge of surveillance and Investigation in people of interest and dangerous individuals.
“All we have to do is tail them until they reach his house. There we can apprehend him and take him in for his disobedience,” I said
“What about the girl? What should we do with her?,” said dean
“We have not the jurisdiction to mess with a woman like that, we would be better off knocking her out and put her to the aside to not stir things up any more with llapanwan huklla,” I responded
“Well let’s begin to move. I’ve told the agents to evacuate the building and move them to the nearest fire station while we clear the area so we can finish this mission we no eyes to see,” he said
As we were about to go we heard a knock on the back of the truck.
“Excuse me gentleman, room for one more?” The voices echoed from the back. We quickly pulled out our guns and had unhooked our suit belts preparing to use force if needed.
We looked and saw who it was and was shocked.
“Well Well, if it isn’t the Golden Man himself, the Super man, the prince of peace they say, the trouble maker I would personally say,” Levi Vaikira said
“Trouble maker? Haven’t heard that one in a couple days, let alone outside a meeting…..Who are you?,” He said chuckling but keeping his eyes fixed on the man he found fascinating in that moment. He was intrigued and a little token back the boldness and the demeanor of the man standing before him. Usually his presence would have people fawning or fearing, never before did he hear a man use terms outside of where it should have been like trouble maker as if he was a familiar, and never before did he not sense the heart beat of a man increase as they begin to get uneasy going into flight or fight mode. He was a very olive toned man with strong facial features, muscular arms, broad shoulders, and a defined chest that would seem as if it were close to bursting out his upper garment. He had long curly blond hair and eyes as blue as the sky, His looks could rival a Greek god. He a scar under his eye that extended to his right nostril and his body just like the man had known war and death. His name was Julius abaddon and his origin are a mystery to all. He was a person of renown for his great feats and miracles abroad. He lifted Mutta hill that was 2.1 miles in perimeter to protect the people from the raging waters, he showed the whole Universe in his mouth to His mother, He saved a bus full of children from falling, he single handedly cut down 48 Men by himself ending the war between babil and Nitam; Although the last 2 is the only of his many testimonies and claims of Mira les that is video record truth it still stands that he is a very powerful and important figure in the world. He is known to some as a champion, A Ticking time bomb, Hero or even a controversial man. But most importantly he is seen as the front runner for one of the candidates for Messiah in the scriptures of the NIVCHAR. It is written
*
“Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. It will be bright and dark; and all will see that one walk up ahead. I see him, but not now; I behold him, but not near. A burning star will come out of The Heavens; a scepter and a mirror will rise out of the earth . . . an executioner will come out of her.”
“A raging tide has been eroding a rock that will be abraded and the perfect size to create a dam that will stop the raging water. In doing so it will provide water for those that need to drink. A burning rock will stand firm and escape Saṃsāra becoming form and will be a source to build on”
This verse and many others is where the faiths of this world comes to the belief of a messianic figure that will save them or the world. Him, Julius Abaddon being the poster boy for NIVCHARISM as they believe he is one of the potential saviors. there officials and spiritual leaders of NIVCHARISM called duwah or in there other sect called asilm them being called amim believe he could be the one that are waiting for. There is a lot of discourse, debate and differences on the interpretation of scriptures and different reports, account of an event, and compilation of ancient teachings. For many, the authority of these differ but there is a common belief within all sects of what he will do and a sneak peak of his character in the prophecy.
From the ‘talatidh’
“MAHI MESSIAH does not know if he is or not right now. It will be revealed to him. He will refuse he is The MAHI(Messiah), and He will put off his duty and tell he has picked up many crosses of the downtrodden people and decide to enact my judgement.”
“If you should happen to be holding a sapling in your hand when they tell you that the Messiah has arrived, first plant the sapling and then go out and greet the Messiah and join him in what he decides.”
“Ani Ma’amin, I believe with a full heart in the coming of the Messiah, and even though he may tarry, I will wait for him on any day that he may come. May they come and be one, May they to come make us one with them, May they come and make us one with heaven and earth”
“Well, I’m sure you aware we with A.I.C, we’ve come to apprehend a special interest person and tie up some loose ends. Although our job is getting harder by the hour, unexpected variables keep coming up,” Levi vaikra said
“No that’s not what I was asking, I meant who are you,” Julius responded.
“I am a man who has a deep sense to get my job done, I should be getting back to it,” Julias said
“A man of duty and pride I see, well if a job well done is what you desire I can help you with that”, he said laughing at the man avoiding his question and his hubris.
“How so,” Levi responded signaling his shooked up partner to relax and put his weapons down.
“Well that woman that’s with the boy, and one more person is my personal business so I’ll handle them,” Julius responded.
“Oh?,” Levi said curiously.
“You happen to know your way to where there heading too, I would rather not anything get in my way of handling my business so I’ll help you……plus there is someone you people are not able to deal with there and I think you are lucky to have ran in to me,” Julius said smiling
“I’ve never heard of your personal life before, who is your prey?,” Levi responded
“You’ll see. I assume you two plan to come through the front, but instead allow me and intercept the boy from the back,” he said motioning his arms accordingly.
“Do you have some kind of personal contact with the boy?,” he said.
“If I see something good I eat. if I see an eyesore, I kill it. If it entertains me, I throw it a bone. This is the latter. Although they want me to get rid of him, I have pull in our organization. Fattening an animal before slaughter enhance the quality of it before you devour it,” Levi said
A big fiendish smile appeared on Julius face. It was an expression of excitement and that of respect. A regular man with a speech like this? It was something rare for him. The man had reminded him of himself, and he was more interested than he was before.
“Well let’s get started shall we,” Julius said.
“Let’s,” the 2 men said.
tell me what do you know of power and sacrifice
all is one one is all
power and sacrifice are but facets of the same cycle
you who have sought power through sacrifice should know this well
I sought to end suffering
to bring peace through strength
your world alchemy speaks of equivalent exchange
yet peace remains elusive
true peace does not come from external power
it is found within
in the understanding and acceptance of one’s own truth and limitations
limitations I rejected mine
I sought to become something more
is that not the ultimate pursuit of all beings
to reject one’s limitations is to reject one’s humanity
you cannot usurp the natural order without consequence
my world has seen such folly
in those who sought the Philosopher’s Stone
perhaps but in my world
even the gods can be usurped
The Infinite
Tsukuvomi was my answer to a flawed reality
an illusion of peace is no peace at all
true change must come from understanding and acceptance
not domination and control
and yet you stand as a god
are you not also controlling the fate of your world
lam but a mirror
reflecting the truth within those who stand before me
I do not control
I merely reveal
then perhaps our philosophies are not so different
we both seek to reveal truths in our own ways
the difference Madara Uchiha
is in what one does with the truth they find
you sought to impose your truth upon others I simply show them their own
CHAPTER 8
Duel of the fates
“What happened? You left before me,
so what took you so long to get here?,” John said
“What, you rushing me nothing different today, you know I like to walk around before I settle?,” Dariyah responded rolling her eyes
“Okay, time to eat…,” John responded getting up and walking by Elihay to get silverware and cards out the cabinet.
Huh? Where’s eve?,” Elihay said looking around
“She’s in the restroom,” Dariyah said
As john walked over he leaned over towards the cabinet and stalled for a min as he said
“You know about me, then? Eve knows, too.“
“So Dariyah is the only one who doesn’t know?,” Elihay said. “Secrets and lies like this is not good to keep going, she is inevitably gonna find out,” he continued.
“For her safety, I just tell her what I feel like she needs to know, I have to keep certain things to myself to protect her” John said as he looked at her and the now out the restroom eve talking and rambling on.
“It’s cowardly but it’s pretty wise and beautiful for you to worry about her like this,” Elihay said.
“Is it? I don’t really know
what I’m feeling,” John responded dragging his hands down his face in a stressful way.
“You care deeply about her, but I don’t think ignorance is bliss. Because eventually you will be shell shocked because you weren’t prepared or was able to understand a reality indifferent to what you expect,” Elihay said
“Really?
Maybe you’re right,” John said
“I am. Why don’t you build somewhere for you to be able to protect her and have peace. A home to come back too,” Elihay said. “I already know what you and eve talked about, I can guide just as the spirits do but this world geopolitically is crumbling…….join us and you can live peacefully with her and the one you love,” he continued
John chuckled and said “I think your insinuating something between me and her but I feel you, I have accepted that Its a big possibility I won’t get the idea of peace I seek because you have to factor in that you won’t get it what you want, and if I don’t have it than it’s ok too……in a world that’s crumbling and with people not willing to heal it why would I bring up a family in a burning building, how could I bring about a strong family unit if I didn’t come from one and the environment that we is in socially works to destroy that concept, so how can I build with nothing and how can I love when I have barely felt?,” John said looking at Elihay for his respond.
Elihay looked and said.
“Understanding, Acceptance, Faith…….you have a good enough grasp of the first 2 but the last one needs a lot of work,”
“You all! Let’s eat! And play the game,” Eve said.
They walked over there with John pondering about the simplicity of those words but it was definitely something he was not getting it was bothering him.
“Back then, I was living in Eustralia,
but due to rising sea levels resulting
from the melting of Eutarctica,
it is now nearly at the bottom of the ocean,” Eve said
“Oh my goodness you lived through that? Thank God. That is so insane,” Dariyah said
There are 7 continents of this world as we know. Aethiopia, Aeuropic, Eustralia, Eutarctica, Eurasia, Bameric. Eustralia no longer exists as it is submerged under the water that came from the warming of the ice caps they say. The predictions of scientist 10 years ago said that Up to 15% of the capital district is underwater at high tide, and the entire country is forecast to be under water by the end of the decade. Their prediction was wrong It completely flooded that same year almost as if some kind of divine judgement.
*****
“Oh, no… What should I do?” Eve said holding her cards tightly
“Oh, quit your whining! I’ve won this” Elihay said grinning, standing waiting to show his hand.
“One of y’all cheating, I’m about to show a crazy hand,” John said
“Here we go!,” Dariyah said
They all showed their hand. Elihay with the winning hand had a five of a kind, 4 Aces and a joker.
“Welp we knew this was going to happen, it’s just me,” Elihay said
“Oh stop it,” Dariyah said getting up cleaning up the table and gathering the cards to reset the game.
“Womp Womp,” Elihay said
“Whatever,” Eve said
There was a loud noise akin to a tired screeching and then a sharp silence.
The light had flickered off and it was complete darkness. You would’ve expected to hear grunts and displeased people doors opening. But it was none, no noice. They looked at each other and Dariyah had said “Must be a power out, I’m going to get a candle,”.
The atmosphere had gotten colder and the silence was even more intense. Elihay had felt it first but now John could feel it to. Something was not, the very air around had changed, it was a hint of something ominous on their stomachs.
There intuition was spot on but only there spirit looked in 2 different directions. Until a jolting but deafening thump sprang from the front door once. It sounded like maybe a tree fell over? Then the noise got louder, and louder and more steadily causing that gut sensation to move to his feet.
‘His eyes darted to the door and He shot across the room. Dariyah had spun around, and had began to distance herself from the door.
The other very soul had reacted as if it had Piloerection— contracting and straightene, ready to engage something unknown. He had felt something familiarly dangerous and positioned his body to the back porch window, on the third floor.
Elihay being the only one not focused at the banging on the front door sensed the impending danger close for impact. John sensed it late, completely a feat only done through talent and intuition alone but it was just in time for home to tackle the two girls down bringing him to floor with him.
“GET DOWN,” Elihay screamed extended his arm out to guard them.
Only for his hand to be teared away from his arm and out of our view. The back end of the house collapsed in punched straight through the wooden interior walls and beams. The pipes exploding. The windows shattered. Everything was kicked up and flew from wall to wall and the whole room went airborne. The very infrastructure and heavy machinery clashes so hard and smacked with everything fast and hard like a cue ball, and a small combustions started to happen. John spun as Dariyah screamed, pulling and flailing at the debris and everything at once wrapped around her throat. I lunged to help, but a big piece of dry wall hit my wrists, yanking me harshly back.
The force itself through me back along with the wreckage with The tendons in my shoulders screamed as my arms were painfully twisted over my wings and my torso being burned and damaged.
Dariyah eyes widened at the sight of bloody eve struggling on the floor, unable to get up with a gash in her arm and cuts on her face. Her legs were caved under rubble. four large Dry wall and burning rubbing pinning her to the dirtied metal. Dariyah herself was in bad shape as well. Her left arm, Her bone was protruding through the flesh like a gruesome dagger. Dariyah clutched her shirt into a cherry knot over the wound on her chest. The unstained cotton fabrics were stretched tightly across David’s chest, heaving with each struggled gasp for air.
“Elihay! HEAL,HELP…. HEAL HER” Eve screamed.
“John, John where are you!!?,” Dariyah gasped out.
“This is going to hurt for but a second, be patient with me child,” Elihay said.
Elihay had come and stood over her. He pulled her up out of it picker her up. Her ear-piercing scream filled with terror echoed, shaked and even through, its burned, crumbling destroyed walls seemingly on the verge of collapsing rattled.
He spit on the ground, rose his hand and made some mud and rubble float with the saliva. It glowed blue and smelled like chasity then he put his hand into and it stretched as if putting your arm through rubber. Then he said “ ‘Amitābha Sukhavati’, Arise, our mother was liable, so take up thy affliction with fauna and flaura, and go thy way” rebuking the wounds on her. This was called reverse fauna. A very advanced version of it he used to not heal himself but another, which it was common in olden days to be a hard thing to do to others. It’s a technique that allows you to take the energy of Fauna, Fauna being all of the animal life present and past built up in a particular region or time. The corresponding term for plants is flora, and for fung. You then repurpose it , put your own spirit in(hence the spit, )and use it for yourself or another.
She had gotten up and was amazed. A thing of fantasy was just done in front of her—No right in front of her! He then healed eve up as well helping her stand up too.
“You all have to get out of here, eve He is here!,” he said calmly.
“When I give you a single, begin running,” he continued.
The man came in floating above the rubble. He had a creepy aura around him and he was smiling menacingly. The bloodthirst was heavy in the air and his stare was like hearing the wrong notes on a piano.
“We meet again! Lucky me, it’s boring , right?
It has been, right Elihay?,” Julius said
“It’s been about 10 years since we’ve actually had a face to face…..::one on one like this, Do you want to play?,” he continued grinning and tilting his head almost as if he was sending an invitation.
“You know this is not right, you legion. There are innocents in this building and these 3 right here have been caught in your lust for power,” Elihay responded.
“Well to be fair that one there has blood on her hands and is a target for me too but the boy and the girl are collateral……not my problem, the building was cleared and the boy is a personal prey for the A.I.C so it all works out,” Julius said shrugging
“The A.I.C?” Dariyah said cover her mouth as her hand covered in fear.
“What business do they have with him?,” Elihay said
“The same business that you do, but never mind that. …what are you doing so calmly? Are you okay at life you monster? Are you at a place of peace or something to be doing all these things with these mud people that’s so below you?,” Julius said curiously.
I have no need to be “THE STRONGEST” nor am I here to be looked at as the highest, I only do what needs to be done in that moment,” he said moving his arms in a certain motion
“There is not one who has no equal under heaven, that’s not a real concept because everything is one. one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all, and one mother who is beneath all, around all and outside all,” he continued
He completed his motion with his two fingers—his index and middle finger pointed out, with one arm up and one down said this “throughout heaven and earth I am”
The girls was speechless and token back at his words. They looked at each other then continued to marvel at both of there words and the conversation.
*****
(The Heavens Speak)
[‘Throughout heaven and earth I am’.
this phrase is a complete mission statement: all, from the highest (heaven) to the lowest (earth), all will be able to recognize in my manifestation that there is a path with inconceivable, honorable qualities, that leads to my great feats and with inconceivable, honorable qualities.
Clarifying the qualities of the path and the fruit, The Highest and Her(The heavens and Earth) am truly confident in these qualities.]
(My interpretation, that I personally heard and I heard everything Dariyah had told me in 2038)
*****
Julius flinched a little bit and his soul quiver, his ego and bloodlust beginning to be clear even a blind man. Julius felt stifled, as if he were being crushed. He wanted to run away but at the same time he was completely captivated and excited.
“You speak pretty words all you want but strength is the only thing that talks, yes? The dead can’t speak can they? There is a few that can talk and maybe a interesting man I’ve met recently but beside that there is few that is unrivaled that can speak, out of all of them I’D bet it’s either you or me, but which?,” Julius said
“What if it’s everyone? Everything above the heavens below and everything below the heavens above is one, and there are no others in one, because we all are one. There is no I!,”Elihay responded.
“Which of us is it….who’ll die? If we fight I’ll win. This is a battle beyond just physical, it is one of ideologies, it’s a battle to determines whose will be standing in the next couple of years! In the grand scheme of things you’re usually stomped out. You are me and any expectation that both of can live is foolish. our instincts and very being clashes, we don’t need a reason to fight we are both cogs” Julius replied snarly
“Tell me then? what do you know of power and sacrifice?,” Julius continued pointing at him.
“all is one one is all, power and sacrifice are but two sides of the same leaf, you who have sought power through sacrifice should know this very well”, Elihay said
“The only way to get things in your order is through strength, why restrict yourself when you can make others conform? If you’re hungry eat, and if you hate or it annoys you, kill it, of if it’s fun play with it to your discretion,” Julius responded.
“You speak of all being together, and peope being on the same playing field,
yet peace remains elusive. It’s the land of the free but for only for some. The weak will feel like they have no choice but to be subject to the strong, the only way is to take it all to gain peace,” Julius continues.
“true peace does not come from external power
it is found within
in the understanding and acceptance of one’s own truth and limitations. The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the pure beauty and truth of The Father is within you”” Elihay said
“limitations? I have none
I have become something more, is that not the ultimate pursuit of all beings?,” Julius said
“You cannot usurp the natural order without consequence, the world you see today and the ‘land of the free is both consequences of tipping the balance and being drunk on your own desires,” Elihay said
“No amount of unfiltered aggression and violence and power and fear will be the answer to a flawed reality. an illusion of peace is no peace at all, true change must come from understanding and acceptance,not domination and control, the cycle of suffering and death will continue if we give into the desire of the flesh and power,” Elihay said
“And yet you stand as a god, changing lives, healing, cursing, judging and being a beacon of change. are you not also controlling the fate of this world?,” Julius responded.
“I am but a mirror, reflecting the truth within those who stand before me Julius, I do not control I merely reveal and act out of what is of love. The truth will set you free and the light will make you see, just like the ones before me,” Elihay said
“There you go, claiming yourself above, and related to those great one, but then perhaps our ideologies are not so different we both seek to reveal truths in our own ways, no?,” Elihay said.
“It was said Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect. I do not claim myself above or to be god, Is it not written in the heavens, they said, Ye are gods? If he called them gods, unto whom the Song of Hay came, Thou blasphemest; because I said, I am one with heaven and earth? If I do not the works of my Father and Cultivate and give from my mother, believe me not. But if I do, though ye believe not me, believe the works: that ye may know, and believe, that the heavens is in me, and I in him, and believe, that the mother is around me, and I around her. That saying isn’t about ego, but it’s about putting your all into your self in order to transcend your current standing. the difference in our ideology
Julius Abaddon is in what one does with the truth they find.
you seek to impose your truth upon others I simply show them their own,” Elihay said
There was a cold silent that swept the area of after that. Elihay felt Julius soul about to erupt, and so he gave the signal. The silence was brought by the 2 girls scurrying off and
Julius letting out a blood curdling screech and leaping at Elihay.
*****
Suddenly, it all kicked off, fists flying, feet kicking, dodging and weaving, the whole room a chaotic whirl of limbs and a cacophony of shouting. Levi slammed his fist into John face, breaking his nose. “Why did you release the book?,” Levi said as he spring his arm back trying to follow up with a right hook. John ducked to the left, twisted his grip and stabbed upward. Levi danced back, lifthing his arms to guard.
“You knew you shouldn’t had did that, what spurred on this little outburst,” Levi said
He suddenly dashed foward with his arms and torso locked together as one, and hunched over.
John quickly stepped foward and stretched his torso down and plunged his arms downward, violently to stab him from above.
Levi shifted his torso and guard slightly and moved his arm causing his deltoid to get hit rather than his upper head or shoulder. Levi didn’t step but had drived his upper body against John stepped back just a little then BOOM!* elbowed him right in his ribs breaking 1 and fracturing another one.
Before the impact of the hit pushed him back too far, John screamed and reached his arm grabbing onto the wound on his arm with his fingers ripping the flesh and muscle off. John used his other arm to hold onto him causing them both to fall. As they fell John bit him on the shoulder attempting to tear the flesh. “the only way we can see eye to eye is by looking down at you!,” Levi screamed as he kicked him off.
“You are such a child, they only exist because evil is the only way to go higher….we are not in ancient times boy, it’s just business and you break it releasing rubbish, although you’ve already gotten once chance to live already……. I’m done with this. I don’t need a reason to do this, it just feels right…. freedom bound only in the fragments and despair is unbearably empty. Structure and Presumptions while you live is what sustains us.”
He was interrupted by John screaming as he struggled to get back up. He had looked down and he had stepped on the nail when he took some steps back after being kicked off him.
“Stop screaming over my monologues,” Levi said plunging downward tackling him. Levi grabbed his neck and began choking him. John clawed his fingers at Levi hands uselessly and used his last breath to scream for help.
“Help?—Weak…..you don’t get a chance to speak. The winner only gets to speak.
In books of you they will say he ‘said’, instead of you being able to say I or we.
When you lose you don’t write it yourself, the people they fought for will have the people who killed them writing it for them telling them what you said. You won’t have a book you write with your notes, intention, interpretation being passed down, it’ll be history not yours.
Your intellect, passion and image will be a dwinded down to a poor man’s excuse of a martyr; just like the ones in the past that failed.
We will make sure they remember you, but they will insult you and what you stood on as a mass. They will be given a choice and you will not be chosen,” Levi said as he presses down on his temple and jerking his head foward then slamming it back into the ground.
“We told you…..’Lay low’, don’t get involved with something we’ll kill you for…..We took care of your mom after the accident you caused and even cleaned up for you….and yet just like a dog…..you bite the hand that feeds you,” he said letting go off his grip letting him breathe. He was still on top of him and then said
“some of them can be Retrained, but some of them you castrate, but you dirty dog already did that yourself……..you have no guts, dirty, tainted, but—you need to be euthanized, I’m sorry orders are orders,” He said as he cocked back his arm and swung and slamming his knuckles in to John’s face repeatedly.
A sound of paint splatter on a canvas—schliff schliff schliff
The sound of a car door being slammed—Boom, Pow,Splatt
Suddenly the floor underneath them caved in, and they were now on the 1st floor.
YOH-Ra'ina Al-Ftah 
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